An Uninteresting Glimpse into the Life of a Dweeb

Update inc.

2008-08-11T08:14:33Z

So I thought I'd give an update, since it's 1:05 on a Sunday night (Monday morning?) and I have no job to report to tomorrow (today?).

Matt and I are living together in Chico, and having a damn ball, to be honest. I love living with him, and I love not living with my parents. It's dandy as hell. Omg I eat cake for breakfast and go to bed late and watch R-rated movies. Not really. Well, the cake thing, yes.
We have a kitten named Harold. He sucks, to be honest. I think my years of not owning cats have really made me romanticize the years I DID own cats. I thought they, y'know, were good pets. Harold's mean, though. Very mean. Oh well. Live and learn and maybe murder a cat. Who knows.

I decided to change my major from liberal studies. I really had no emotional tie to that major and, honestly, didn't look forward to any of the classes that were available under that major. I just picked it because I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Well, through some stupid mishap with my transfer credits, I changed my major to...Social Science. Or Sciences. whatever. The classes sound soo much more appealing. My two concentrations will be Family Relations and Psychology. I can't waaait. The classes I'm taking this semester are:
ANTH 312 - 01 - Cataclysmic Events in Human Prehistory
SOCI 230 - 01 - Women in Contemporary Societies
PSYC 355 - 04 - Child/Adolescent Psychology
PSYC 457 - 01 - Psychology of the Exceptional Child
GEOS 355 - 02 - Geologic Hazards

I'm excited :). SO yeah. I like life right now. Some deeper stuff going on beneath the surface, but that's to be expected.
I can't seem to find a fucking job, which is hard on me. Fortunately right now, Matt's secured a full-time job, at least until the beginning of school or something. We aren't struggling at the moment, but who knows. I'm content right now and I love him.

Ever so sleep. Nighty night. Don't let the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

About to start a new life.

2008-06-12T01:03:27Z

So Matt and I are moving on Friday. I am EXTREMELY excited!!! I can't believe it's finally happening. I really love the way my life is going right now, despite all this poop with the car accident. Because you know what? It turned out great.

A lovely beautiful 2001 Ford Focus. It's the car I've wanted since I was fifteen years old, and I finally have it <3. Anyway, I'm very pleased right now.
I can't waiiiit to live with this man.

No, I won't put this behind a cut. Get ova it,mf!

2008-05-24T01:19:42Z

Today I was driving to Matt's house, when a very curious thing happened. Some guy switched into my lane on Niblick, right behind me. Like three inches behind me. I saw him and I thought, "Wow, that guy's an asshole. I don't have anywhere to go." Then he ACCELERATED!.. into me. He slowed down a little, then accelerated again!!. Then he repeated that. I pulled into the little street between Heritage Oaks Bank and the new Highlands Church because WTF. He pulled over too and I genuinely thought that he was going to get out and kick my ass--like I had done something to him or something. That was the only explanation I could think of for him rearending me four times.
As I pulled over, my car was attached to the front of his HUUUUGE F150 (lifted, with huuuuge monster truck wheels.)
Anyway it turned out that he just "didn't see" me. That's when you know your truck is too tall. When you can't see a car attached to your front bumper.

So here's the damage :(

Fortunately his insurance company agreed to accept liability so I'll get some bux soon.

Back from the dead.

2008-02-29T06:47:46Z

Alright so. I guess it's time to make an update, because I haven't in a really long time. Who knows who even reads this business anymore, but whatever.

I'm actually doing pretty okay these days. I still have a hard time sometimes. My brother Conrad died in December, so that has been an incredibly difficult experience. I'm also still trying to cope with my mom's death last June. I went to a bereavement group last semester a couple times...but nobody really showed up to the group so it was just me, Matt, and some woman named Tanya who had a beard. Hah. Plus she was there because her dog died so I felt uncomfortable.

These days, I'm doing better. I don't cry as much and I feel more in-control of my emotions.
Oh a much lighter note, I was accepted and admitted to CSU Chico. Matt was too, incidentally! So we're going to be moving up there together in the summer--maybe June or July. I am soo SCARED. I'm also incredibly excited because I just feel this ache to be out of my family's house, for independence's sake. Well, for co-dependence's sake heh. I'm going to major in Liberal Studies. At least, that's what I've declared. I may change it if something else catches my attention.

Matt and I have been together for a little over two and a half years. It's bizarre how much I love this guy. I never in my life thought that I would meet somebody this young, and feel such an intense and powerful connection. I feel like we are on the same page about nearly everything, and that is so comforting. He has been so amazing, helping me cope with the tragedies that 2007 dealt. I just feel so lucky. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I'm going to hang on to him.

Uhh. I ordered seasons one through three of Lost last Monday (yeah like 58585858 days ago) and hopefully that will arrive tomorrow. I want to have a Lost marathon. I got a new TV from my parents for my birthday, so I look forward to watching a nice clear picture. For Christmas, Matt got me Six Feet Under, the entire series. I loooove it. I'm re-watching it, and it's even better the second time around. Such a beautiful and powerful show.

Well I guess that's about it. Various other shit's going on but I can't think of it right now. I have to go potty :(.

Oh and if you haven't already, watch Once. You'll feel really good.

beatrixie @ 2008-01-28T08:12:00

2008-01-28T16:12:41Z

21 today

beatrixie @ 2007-07-26T02:09:00

2007-07-26T09:09:45Z

I keep having dreams that she's alive.

beatrixie @ 2007-06-25T01:19:00

2007-06-25T08:29:04Z

I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to post about this. But I think it will help me and it's something I know that I will want to preserve in my memory for as long as I can. It's sad but that's life.

On Friday my mom had a brain aneurysm. An ambulance picked her up from a bus stop, where she was lying unconscious, and all alone. She fell into a coma and doctors confirmed upon arrival that my mom had no brain activity. Yesterday, a series of tests were performed, and their outcome officially labeled her as braindead. She was kept alive only by lifesupport.

Yesterday we also discovered that my mom was an organ donor. This meant that there was a window of only 12-24 hours from the "braindead" classification in which the organs could be.. harvested. Deva and I were her next of kin, so we had the power to consent to her organ donation. We consented and asked also that she be a tissue donor. That really got the clock moving. Basically, after that, my mom would be dead within a day.

She died today.

It is incredibly surreal and I can't explain this insanely cliche "emotional rollercoaster" I'm on right now. I'm fine one minute and crying like a buttface the next. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to endure, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
I miss her.

beatrixie @ 2007-04-02T09:15:00

2007-04-02T16:18:12Z

So like. Last night I was suspended "until further notice" from Video Choice.
I was three and a half hours into my 6.5 hour shift and I wasn't feeling well, so I called my co-worker to cover the rest of my shift. (I wouldn't have even asked, but I worked a few hours for her last week when she was ill.) I didn't 'okay' it with my manager, and she found out later that night that I had gotten Katey to work for me, so she decided to suspend me because I was "going behind her back." The weird and stupid thing is that I actually thought I was doing my manager a FAVOR because I was taking care of it. She told me that I was the most thorough of her employees, so she was disappointed that I didn't go the "proper" route or something. So, I get suspended, no warning at all. It's complete bullshit.
I'm not going back. So who wants to employ me.

beatrixie @ 2007-03-30T02:16:00

2007-03-30T09:29:01Z

I think it's weird that five people from Can't Hardly Wait went on to be on Six Feet Under. I want to know if Lauren Ambrose had something to do with that.

Hrm. We're about to start season 5 of SFU. It's weird because I know exactly how the last episode ends because I saw it on Best Week Ever like a year and a half ago. I don't want to tell Matt, though. Spoilers suck. I wish I'd had the foresight to imagine that I'd want to watch it someday. I wonder how much shit I read now is spoiling stuff I'll be interested in, in a year and a half.

Life's fine these days. My fifty-third semester at Cuesta seems to be winding down. My grades should be pretty damn satisfactory, I think. I'm actually trying ? ? ? Weird.

I'm reading a lot. Mostly Stephen King. Right now I'm reading Nightmares and Dreamscapes which is a paltry 820 pages. I used to think that I prefer his short story compilations rather than the novels, but now I don't necessarily think that's true. I've been sort of going back and forth between his short stories and longlong books, and when I'm reading the shorties, I find myself longing for character development. I find myself more drawn to his characters when he has a 500 page stretch in which to round them out.

March saw my "OnE YeAr AnNiVeRsArY" at Video Choice. Not so sure about how that's going to be. I've never stayed at a job for a year straight. I think I lose interest and patience. I do see that happening.

Awww I had my first UTI this month. It was great! And when the nurse practitioner did a pap smear, my tenderness and pain lead her to believe that I had some sorta STD. That was funny. Er no wait...not funny at all. That's what I meant.

Mmm. I love him very much.

beatrixie @ 2007-01-02T04:07:00

2007-01-02T04:07:34Z

Sigh.

beatrixie @ 2006-12-25T20:58:00

2006-12-25T20:58:28Z

I'm not going to use LJ cut. So sucks to be you guys.

From my parents:

Tug the tongue!

Here's what hiding in their mouths.

Tickets to see Steely Dan next month =O.

beatrixie @ 2006-12-17T00:48:00

2006-12-17T00:48:04Z

Here's my really cool and interesting community college version of a schedule for next year.

4712 MATH27 MWF 12:00pm - 1:40pm MEYER J NCTY N2802 5.0 GR
4631 HIST7B TTh 8:00am - 9:30am HITCHMAN R NCTY N5003 3.0 GR
5392 PHIL8 M 4:00pm - 7:00pm WISHART P SLO 6307 3.0 GR
4996 SPCH10 MW 10:00am - 11:30am DUMAS B NCTY N2441 3.0 GR

So yeah. That's intermediate algebra, American history after 1800something, Intro to logic and Small Group discussion. Should be absolutely amazing. Barrrrf. I wonder if I'll ever be done with Cuesta :O

Oh and J, if you're *reading* this, I forgot to sign off MSN--I wasn't ignoring you.

beatrixie @ 2006-10-15T07:11:00

2006-10-15T07:14:12Z

Alriiight.
I feel really sad and lonely. I miss having friends. I feel like I've probably burned bridges, though, so I don't know what to do.
I love Matt and when we're together I feel totally whole and I feel a certain sense of fulfillment that was entirely foreign to me before our relationship. After I go home, though, I just feel so empty.
When I get sad, I think about all the things that make me sad, so I just sit and wallow in melancholy. That in itself is depressing.

I would give anything to be 10 years into the future. I hate college and I hate work. The only thing that gets me from day to day is my relationship. And that scares me.
Am I really that unstable?

beatrixie @ 2006-09-07T18:42:00

2006-09-08T01:46:16Z

Today Matt and I ended up at Smart & Final, so we did a little important shopping.
Here is what we left with:

A 2-lb bag of assorted Warhead candies
A 15-pack of assorted Orbit gum flavors
An 18-pack of Bubbalicious Watermelon Wave
A 2-lb bag of generic-brand Cap'n Crunch cereal

I feel like a child!
A toothless one.

beatrixie @ 2006-09-03T23:31:00

2006-09-04T06:31:59Z

Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) died =/. That's really sad!!
I miss him already. Not really. But it's really sad for his family.
Bye Steve Irwin
*kiss*

beatrixie @ 2006-08-18T16:23:00

2006-08-18T23:41:09Z

Yes it's true. I'm finally updating, after about 5 months of nothingness. Don't get me wrong, I read livejournal several times a day. I'm just too lazy and too incredibly non-interesting to update.

Current Addictions: Desperate Housewives, Season 1; Stephen King novels and movies; Bagel breakfast sandwiches; The Goofy Movie soundtrack; Crack.

I don't quite know where to start. I want this entry to be succinct and beautiful and special. Not sure why I'm filling it with so much bibblebabble already, though.

This Sunday is me and Matt's one year anniversary. Yup, that's one entire year of friend and family ditching in favor of a romantic relationship. To be truthful, though, I don't know if I would do it differently if given the chance. (I won't be given the chance, though, because I haven't invented the Backwards Time Travel Pocketwatch that I vowed to invent by the age of 19-and-a-half, which was last month...So I'm not going to dwell.) I'm sorry that I'm so weak and that I seem to make wrong decisions. I'm a person, though, and people are entitled to be shitty for a year or so in their late teens, or so I've read.

Umm. I stopped taking my medicine about a month ago. It wasn't like I suddenly woke up one day and felt like I don't need to be taking Zoloft. I wish. But the real story is that I ran out one night and didn't feel like calling in/paying for a refill. So THEN I decided I'm such a strong individual that I can withstand possible withdrawal symptoms and eventual suicide. Girl power. The two and a half weeks after I stopped taking it were hell. The physiological effects I endured were much worse than I had anticipated. The worst was the dizziness I experienced after standing up for short periods of time. It made working very...shitty. I'm still feeling the psychological effects. I am super sensitive (not like a penis; Like a girl who cries all the time). It's great. Except not. Fortunately, Matt is very patient and understanding. I'm lucky.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Gotta see Snakes on a Plane. I think Matt has that planned as one of the events on our anniversary. Can't wait. I think it will be fun to participate in something as iconic and phenomenal as this movie's theatre run.

I've been having monetary issues as of late, and I actually had to ask my parents for money to help me pay for this semester of Cuesta. I was really ashamed and embarrassed. Now I have to use my parents as a savings account. Half of my paycheck goes to my parents, for them to save; $25 comes out of the remaining half, to go towards my car insurance payment; And I get to keep the rest of the money to spend for the week. So far it's turned out to be about $23-$25 per week. Oh well ;D.

That's about it. I've been working, having fun with my love, and other stuffs. Cuesta starts in a few days. Freaking boo to the freaking max. Have a nice day.

beatrixie @ 2006-03-24T09:28:00

2006-03-24T17:34:01Z

Quick update.........

1. V For Vendetta: Great.
2. Good Night, and Good Luck: Mediocre. Although it was nice to see Leland Palmer again, hah. I'd missed him. :|.
3. We're seeing Inside Man today, should be pretty good. It's getting relatively decent reviews, and I love Clive Owen.
4. So I've started at Video Choice. It's a pretty fun job. Dandy to be around movies again.

Ummmm. Nothing else really. I haven't been home at all lately. Basically, I wake up at 8:30, shower and go over to Matt's by 9:30 or 10:00. Then I spend all day with him, and come home at 1:44 am. It's kinda cool, like I'm invisible.
Mm I'm hungry. Time for waffles!

beatrixie @ 2006-03-12T11:04:00

2006-03-12T19:08:47Z

Weeeeeeee HEHEHEHEH SNOW!! Michelle woke us up at about 6:50 to tell us that it's snowing. Oh my golly. It was all on dad's car. Hehehehehehehehehehehehe hehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. Anyway.
I have an interview at...Video Choice! today at 4. Innnnteresting. I hope I get the job because...right now I have no job? Shitty. Yawn I'm bored.
Me and Matt saw Sugar last night. It was great =]. Hah, Sergio sang to me at one point, that was quite funny. Matt said, "Am I gonna have to kick his ass?" which is funny to picture.
Er, anyway bye.

beatrixie @ 2006-03-04T01:51:00

2006-03-04T09:51:53Z

So....

Ed Harris came into Rocky Mtn tonight........................................................
omfg, that's all. I was so fucking giddy, like a teenybopper girl. As if Ed Harris should have a teenybopper following. But yeah, I pretty much freaked out.
It made my night :P.

I want to meet other celebrities. They're so much better than me.

beatrixie @ 2006-02-17T09:19:00

2006-02-17T17:21:10Z

Boobutthead. I got my first ticket yesterday for doing a running stop at the 3-way stop on 1st and Vine. FUCKING SUCKS. Oh well hehehehehe.
Apparently Pattypoo's mom bought us a table and chair set for when we move out. Good to see that SOMEBODY's helping us.

No class today! Yayayayaya. And class was cancelled yesterday too...And no class MONDAY.
Monday's me and Mattie's 6 month anniversary. What the....
I have lots of energy because I ate some of my Valentine's chocolate a little while ago.

beatrixie @ 2006-02-05T17:46:00

2006-02-06T01:48:02Z

I have been indescribably depressed for the past few days. I cry a lot. And yet it feels all too familiar.
Problems with Matt's mom. Already.

beatrixie @ 2006-02-04T14:59:00

2006-02-04T23:01:19Z

Betty Friedan, philosopher of modern-day feminism, dies

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Betty Friedan, whose manifesto "The Feminine Mystique" became a best seller in the 1960s and laid the groundwork for the modern feminist movement, died Saturday, her birthday. She was 85.

RIP. And thanks.

beatrixie @ 2006-02-01T19:36:00

2006-02-02T03:41:26Z

A few semi-interesting tidbits.

My back left tire blew out today while I was driving me and Matt to Cuesta. Talk about pain in the ass. Since we don't really know how to change a tire, we called AAA. We had to wait about an hour for somebody to show up...So we missed class. That sorta sucks, because I was hoping to keep a relatively clean track record as far as absences go. I got too used to missing class at Riverside.
So, this turned out to be pretty bad. Well, not as bad as it could have been, but I'll probably need all-new tires soon. Just replacing that one tire today cost me $52.
I'm trying really hard to save up money right now, and I hate financial blows like that.

Ohh. And tonight at dinner I finally told my parents about my evil plan to find a place to live with Matt, Patricia and Cole. They seemed to take the news okay, and asked a lot of questions and stuff. They didn't really object. My favorite part of the conversation, though, came from my dad. "So...You're looking for a nice 4-bedroom apartment?" Joking of course. The next big step is talking to MATT'S mom about the thing. We have a feeling she might have a problem with it, since it's relatively soon in our relationship. Afterall, we just celebrated our 5 month "mark" a couple weeks ago. But, hey, people who have been married for 60 years were together for only 5 months at some point =].

So now I can search a bit more actively for a nice 2 bed/2 bath place. We've been looking in Paso, Atascadero and Templeton. We don't want to go much farther for now, since 3 of us are going to Cuesta.

Today was okay.

beatrixie @ 2006-01-28T17:58:00

2006-01-29T01:58:45Z

Feliz cumpleaños a MI! Or something like that. Nineteen sounds big and scary. I'm almost out of my teens.

beatrixie @ 2006-01-06T17:44:00

2006-01-07T01:59:49Z

Tiny mini-update for all my adoring fans.

I had a zombie dream last night...My first in a long time. I think it's because I wasn't feeling well. The dream was scary as hell, though. It was big and epic and there were a lot of people in it...including Patricia, Krista Page, and some people from Scrubs. Weird.

Segue: Scrubs.
Matt and I finished seasons 1 and 2 of Scrubs and we are crushed!! Season 3 hasn't come out yet, so we need something to fill the void. What a fantastic show :).

Segue: Fantastic show.
I bought Wonderfalls on DVD last night at Walmart, for $20. For the record, MandaB, I thought of you! Here went the conversation.
Me: I loved that show!!!!!!
Matt: Then let's get it. It'll be our new addiction.
Me: But there are only 13 episodes...Nine of which didn't even air.
Matt: Then we won't get too attached. It'll be okay.

I love that kid. Finally a fella with as much of a tv show-attachment as me. I love Gilmore Girls (I have all 5 seasons now, btw) but I don't really see him falling as much in love with it as I have. We've watched it together a lot, and we've already agreed to name our first child Lorelei. Hurrayyyy.

Segue: Kids with Matt.
It'll happen!! I can't wait to move out with him. Don't know when yet...But I suspect it'll be when we are more financially secure ;). Can't wait. He's mine.

Okay, not such a tiny update. Bye!!